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Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 21st, 2007
 
Little Boy Blue

Little boy blue, he needed the money.

 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 21st, 2007
 
Mary Had A Little Lamb Rhyme

Mary had a little lamb she kept it in her back yard when she took her panties off his wooly dick got hard



 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 21st, 2007
 
Jack Rhyme

Jack be nimble Jack be quick Jack burnt off his little Dick!

 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 21st, 2007
 
Abraham Lincoln Rhyme

Abraham Lincoln was a good old man. He hopped out the window with his dick in hand. he said, "Excuse me ladies, just doing my duty so why not pull down your pants and give me some booty."

 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 21st, 2007
 
The following exam was administered to gangsters as their version of the SAT, this version is known as the official GAT (Gangsta Aptitude Tess)...

1) You just robbed som jack mo fo with $20 in his wallet. You can buy:

A. A dime and two 40's B. A new pair of Fila's C. Dashikki down the block D. Yo mama

2) It's tha end of da monf again and da man is on your jack for da rent. You:

A. Bust a cap in his ass B. Say, "Shit man, why you all up in ma bidness?" C. Have anuther kid on welfare D. Yo mama

3) You and ya holmes are banging down da block when yall scam da uther mo fo's commin your way. If ya both jaking your hydros, and both yall draw yur gats, which of da following happens:

A. Shit goes down in da hood B. Ya check yur colours and let the cop-killers fly C. Shit man, I do'no maff D. Yo mama

4) You drink haff a 40. How much is left:

A. Haff B. Da uther haff C. Zum mo D. Bout enuff to jak yo mama

5) You, beein da shit you are, dress yo self in da morn in which of deese:

A. Yo Tek 9 with da Raiders hat B. Da AK47 with yo Fila's

6) Tiz yo 21st birfday. You:

A. Hook up with Dashikki down the block and treat her to MceeDees B. Treat yo self to crack, ice cream, and 40's C. Gaffle da man D. I do'no maff

JOG-MAFEE

7) Wher iz da mutherland at:

A. Afrika B. Mehico C. Compton D. Souff Centra E. Yo mama

8) What am da capita of California?

A. Da Hood B. Compton C. Compton D. Compton

ANALAMA-G'S

9) Tek 9 : Gatt :

A. Yo mama : Dashikki B. Fila's : Nike C. Tu pac : Barry White D. St. Ive's : Colt 45

10) Malt Liquor : Da Chronic :

A. Da Man : Da Systum B. ReeRun : MC Hammer C. Fat Albert : Shaft D. Yo mama : Dashikki

NOW LOOKIE HERE FOO. I GOTS TO AXE YOU AN EXXAY QUEXTIUN: IN 25 WURDS MO O LESS, TELL UZ ME WHO AM DA MAN?

So dat we may give uh you yo cowrecked sco, sine yo tag here!

 

 
Name: Little Kaye
Date Entered:June 21st, 2007
Email: kathy.eckley@prufoxroach.com
 
Well, it was fun. still the best loca in Philly for doing anything. Looking for people who lived there in 1960's, especially 61. St Francis Xavier, Hallahan.
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
ARIES You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding

TAURUS Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.

GEMINI Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill them self to win a bet.

CANCER You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.

LEO The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.

VIRGO You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

LIBRA You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

SCORPIO You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You should become a stunt performer with no helmet.

SAGITTARIUS You are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.

CAPRICORN You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.

AQUARIUS You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

PISCES You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.

 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
It is always important to have a plan of action ready in case an unfortunate event occurs at home. Here are some helpful tips that could really help out...

1. If you are chocking on an ice cube don't panic. Simply pour a kettle of freshly boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid argument with the missus about lifting toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. High Blood pressure sufferers: Make an incision in your left or right wrist and bleed yourself for several hours, reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough

7. Avoid the mess when your toilet backs up, use the yard.

Of course we don't recommend you actually use any of these remedies
 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.

One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond. "Bob is that you?" Earl asked. "Of course it me," Bob replied.

"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"

Earl excitedly replies, "Tell me the good news first."

"Well, the good news is that yes there is baseball in heaven, Earl."

"Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"

"You're pitching tomorrow night."

 

 
Name: FatBoy
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
You know you're really trailer trash when...

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People."

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.

Someone in your family died right after saying "Hey, y'all watch this!"

Your Junior / Senior prom had a daycare.

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

Ya' can't git married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a dang law against it.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

 

 
Name: Kramer
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
so this Black man was asking the Lord a few questions: Lord how come my skin is so dark.....well son thats to protect you from the rays of the hot sun in Africa.

Lord why is my hair so kinky....well my son thats because when your moving thru the jungle your hair won't get caught in the trees and branches and you won't be captured by some animal.

Lord why am i such a fast runner......well son thats so a lion can't catch you and eat you.

well tell me Lord what am i doing here in Philadelphia then! LOL
 

 
Name: oldtimer
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
remember as long as you have a cow that twitches...you'll have Beef Jerky LOL
 

 
Name: oldtimer
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
My wife told me the car wasn't running,theres water in the carburetor--where's the car,in the Schuylkill river LOL
 

 
Name: oldtimer
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus?

your wife will always blow your bonus LOL
 

 
Name: Kramer
Date Entered:June 20th, 2007
 
I'm desperately trying to find out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets?
 

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